Q:Hi Jin! You seem like a very optimistic and confident person but I was wondering, when you look at yourself, do you ever feel insecure or unsatisfied with how you look? If so, how do you cope with it? Sorry if this question is too personal! :) Hope you have a great day!
To be honest, I’ve been meaning to write about something like this for a while. I get a lot of messages from people who are being hindered from doing things they want to try because they are unhappy with the way they look, and their self-confidence suffers.
I’ve been there before, and I know how that feeling sucks. While your inner self is of course ultimately more important, I can understand how we can still be heavily affected by our outer appearance. After all, that is the image we present to others on our day-to-day interactions. In a lot of cases, people cannot help perceiving another individual visually first, before getting to know the person inside.
Although I carry myself with more confidence now, it doesn’t mean I regard myself as perfect. I honestly think I have quirky features and that I look kind of odd, but I’m really very okay with that!
As a kid, I was called some names and mildly bullied for the way I look. Because of that, there was a time when I wished I could get plastic surgery to change my features into what would be considered conventionally beautiful, so that people wouldn’t hurt me. It was a kid’s reasoning, and of course I couldn’t actually do it.
One night many years after that, I was looking at photos of an artist I look up to and admiring their features. Soulful eyes, bright, even if the skin around them was a bit darkened, perhaps from lack of sleep. Messy but expressive eyebrows. An upturned nose that looks a bit pinched but in what I think is an endearing way. A crooked smile with somewhat misaligned teeth that were smaller than they should proportionally be. The funny way they seemed to talk from just one side of their mouth. These features don’t sound ideal, but I honestly felt that this person was, and still is, one of the most visually beautiful people I have laid eyes on. And I felt that if they got plastic surgery to change anything about how they looked, I would be extremely sad because I truly feel they are perfect (or perfectly imperfect) just the way they are.
And in that moment I realized: If I can feel this way about this person who is so far from the idealized standard of beauty, then maybe it is possible that someone could look at me and feel similarly. Moreover, it dawned on me that what I loved about that person’s features was amplified by the way their hard work and passion and kindness had inspired me and so many others in countless ways. That’s when I thought — Wow. That’s how I hope to be admired.
I don’t want an empty worship based on by chance being born with features that fall into a commercial definition of external beauty. There is no single universal ideal of beauty anyway, so if you just want every single person to find you good-looking then there’s no way to win that game.
So yes, there are times I feel insecure about some things, but I don’t let myself get seriously upset about them, nor do I wish I had a different face or body. I am not perfect, but I can be grateful for the people who can appreciate the features I was born with. Even better are the ones who go past my exterior and can acknowledge me for the things I do, and for who I am as a person.
Another option would be to help me redecorate the studio! :)
Listen to him. You may not want to take that other option. That’s a mistake you can only make once.
Have a happy weekend!
I gave this exact same advice to intern Vanessa! What a fun coincidence!
H av e a dose of de l ightful p ositivity care of our m ain man K e vin!
Kevin has now opened his inbox and his heart to your burning inquiries! Send your questions, and he’ll respond with audio! There are a couple of entries on the blog already, so check those out to get an idea of what to expect!
When Kevin isn’t answering questions, he passes the time by redecorating the studio with our interns. It is so very colorful here now. So many, many different shades of red.
Please send him questions. We are running out of interns.
Hey, Desert Bluffs and beyond! Check out our shiny new audio ask blog for Kevin! Here’s an intro post!
Q:Hi Jin! Since it's clear that Miguel is not your boyfriend, do you have a boyfriend? What qualities do you look for a guy? :)
Clear? Is it really? Hahahahahahahahaha
rockets knows wats up
Q:I really love your blog and I love you. All of your cosplays are so fantastic. Yours is the only cosplay blog I follow because yours is the only one I like enough to follow. And so pretty much I was wondering if you would please be my friend?
Hello, anon! I’m really happy to hear that you enjoy my posts! However, on the subject of becoming friends, I’m afraid I am at a disadvantage as I don’t know anything about you.
(I get questions like this a lot and I have been meaning to address it. So this is not just for this particular anon but everyone who have asked similar questions.)
As much as I would like to think it would be so easy to become friends with someone just by asking, I’ve come to learn that it’s not that simple. Perhaps it is particularly true for someone like me, since I share photos and some stories about myself and my friends. People tend to build expectations, and get the feeling that they know me so well — when in reality they don’t know much at all. There’s more to who I am than what I choose to share online, after all.
On a bit of a darker note, I have had my trust betrayed in the past by people who claimed to have wanted to be friends. I hope this helps you understand why I am being kinda guarded.
That does not mean I am shutting out the possibility. I have been honest with you, and that is something friends would do, isn’t it? If you decide on trying again not anonymously, please don’t ask directly if we can be friends, as I believe that friendship is not something that is built on one simple question.
Maybe try interacting with me first. Perhaps you could leave comments on my public page posts in which we could discuss something we might have in common. I don’t know. Maybe you have other ideas.
It might be worth noting that I’m not fond of private messages in which people try to engage me in small talk like, “What’s up?”
THE SKY IS UP I’m uncomfortable with one-on-ones with someone I’m not familiar with, I’m not good at small talk, and there are so many things that are “up” that I would exhaust myself figuring out where to begin. Hahah. I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings; I am just being real here.
I guess it’s kind of like in real life: Casually exchanging comments in a public place is no problem. But when someone unfamiliar sends a private message for unclear reasons, I feel like I’ve been cornered in an alley. (If they have a question or a definite message to express then that’s fine.)
If you do decide to try leaving me comments, just be sincere and be true to who you are. I can’t promise anything, but that sounds like a pretty good place to start. :)
Q:Hi Jin! Long time no see any updates due to my exams at uni ;___; I know I will probably get a punch or something for the question I will ask but I feel completely lost with this. What is "Welcome to Night Vale"? ._____. I don't know where I have to look to understand something about it. Could you please help me? u.u Thanks so much :D Have a great week!! <3
Google is your friend. <3
Night Vale can’t be explained. You’ll just have to experience it and either leave while you still can, or live there like the rest of us.